Good communication is essential to any organization requiring collaboration, and setting up a school presents countless opportunities to exchange ideas. Middle Way School’s core team developed this communications charter to help establish a ground for clear, meaningful, non-confrontational interaction. A fundamental belief in basic goodness and compounded phenomena are at the core of our charter. We share it with the hope that it can bring benefit.

Here is a link to the updated version of this as a Google doc.

”Setting boundaries, good boundaries —the intention of that is to allow for communication to happen.”—Pema Chodron

Updated 2021

This guide is a living document to support the Middle Way School community in healthy personal and organizational communications.

Two Fundamentals

Rely on Shunyata — Nothing is as solid as it seems. Open and creative communication is supported when we realize that countless causes and conditions factor into every person’s experience and therefore every relationship. There is never a single cause of conflict. Challenges viewed through this lens become more workable, less rigid. It helps to remember we are all stardust. (Shunyata is a Sanskrit term loosely translated as: all things are empty of a truly existing essence.)
See the Good (Bodhicitta) – Recognizing that basic goodness is inherent in all beings helps to diffuse the tension of dualism. It is safe to assume that all people have good intentions and good hearts. Most conflict or dischord stems from some form of miscommunication of this intention.

Basic Principles

Start with Yourself

Self-reflection is the foundation for good communication.
Celebrate mistakes as opportunities for learning.
Consider your motivation. Why are you needing to communicate?
Consider your timing. Ask yourself why am I communicating at this moment?
Watch your mind, take a bird’s eye view to see your place in what is arising
Relax your voice, speak from diaphragm
Monitor for adrenaline. If you sense tension arising, drop it; try not to speak from it. If you cannot deescalate, have an agreement within the group that a time out can be called. “I don’t know if this is a good time, I may need a time out.”

Practice Mindful Listening

In Buddhism there is a classic structure of The Three Defects of Listening represented by 3 pots: an overturned pot simply doesn’t listen, a pot with holes in it doesn’t retain what is being said, and a pot with poison in it has preconceived notions that taint what is being said. Try to be a clean, sturdy upturned pot.
Pay attention to intent and purpose.
Risk-free communication is essential for open dialogue. It’s helpful to remember that some people process by speaking aloud before thinking. Allow words that are not thought through to be said without immediate judgment.
To the extent possible, suspend judgment in order to truly and actively listen.
Respect that whatever a person is saying makes sense and is valid to them.

Build Community

Establish friendliness as the default. Warmth enlivens healthy organizations.
Recognize that people have unique and individual ways of expressing tenderness, find your personal style of offering. (see enneagrams below)
Have fun together. Making time for enjoyable activities helps establish a ground for challenges that may arise.
Talk with everyone. Cultivate strong individual relationships so each member of the group has a connection and direct communication with each other person.
Celebrate cultural diversity. Be gentle when you don’t understand others’ way of being.
Develop systems for receiving and offering support; conflict is often a result of undelivered feedback.

Conflict and Challenge

Don’t fear conflict. Dynamic tension fuels creativity and organizational growth.
Remember there is a choice. Use conflict as an opportunity to connect to a greater vision. Instead of getting sucked into emotionally loaded story lines, choose to keep a larger perspective.
Be precise about the details of the conflict.
“Do not wait in ambush” is a classic Tibetan slogan meaning, don’t cling to a problem until it bursts, address things in a timely manner with love and compassion. Not too hot and not too cold.

Other Best Practices

Respect confidentiality.
Establish channels of support in order to maintain communication in times of stress. For example, set up weekly calls just about how we are doing.
Maintain awareness of the limitations of electronic communication, following these guidelines:

Apply Communication Guidelines to electronic correspondences
Pay particular attention to tone in order to maintain good communication
Pay attention to subject headings that support organization/sorting on receiver’s end
Pay attention to who is being copied and avoid unnecessary distribution

Resources: A Collection in Progress

Following are a number of resources to support communication at Middle Way Schools and in the Middle Way Education Community:

“Don’t stir up extra dust and don’t sweep anything under the rug.” —Elizabeth Namgyel

“It is very important for us to realize that humility, gentleness, and genuineness are absolutely necessary if we are interested in working with others. And if we are not, then we are not actually practicing dharma, the Buddhist teachings, at all.” – Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche.

Dharma Resources