Taking refuge in the Buddhist tradition involves more than seeking external safety; it is a process of turning inward and discovering our own unlimited potential as human beings. This discovery awakens a natural wisdom energy within us and inspires us to walk the path toward complete clarity of mind. The word “Buddha” simply means an awakened one, someone whose mind is totally open, like a fully bloomed lotus.

Taking refuge helps protect us from the storms of negative emotions and provides us with a sense of inner safety. It allows us to find rest in something stable and reliable when life feels overwhelming. Buddhist refuge begins with trust in the three jewels—the Buddha, the dharma, and the sangha—but it deepens as we take personal responsibility for how we live our lives. We commit not only to avoiding harm but also to actively benefiting others. This requires the ongoing practice of discipline and empathy. Discipline grounds our actions with care and intention, while empathy opens our hearts to truly connect with the experiences of others.

If we have not taken Buddhist refuge, we will naturally rely on what we know, which serves as a kind of default or ordinary refuge. We can use our discriminating wisdom to assess what is reliable and choose wholesome references, such as the unconditional love of a family member, animal, or friend; the openness of the sky; the solidity of the earth; or the energy and movement of the forest. Additionally, we can rely on the power of contemplative practices to focus and pacify our minds.

The more grounded, aware, and resourced we are, the more we become a refuge ourselves, a steady, compassionate presence that others can rely on. Listening deeply and responding with wisdom depend on our ability to be fully present. In this way, refuge is not just something we take; it’s something we embody, offering protection, support, and inspiration to others on their own path.

Also see: Buddhist and Ordinary Refuge

Everyone seeks refuge in something at all times. When we have begun to find peace and unconditional love within ourselves, we are better prepared to be a source of ordinary refuge for others. The ultimate home is our mind.

Reflect on the feeling of being fully held in someone’s unconditional loving presence as opposed to being with someone who is distracted, judgmental, or dysregulated. Reflect on which kind of person they want to be for others.

• How does being with someone who is calm, present, and nonjudgmental make you feel?
• When we feel love, is the feeling coming from outside or from within us?
• Have you ever had the feeling of being at home, even though you weren't physically home?

Implement awareness practices to generate a calm, grounded center, and evaluate how being present and nonjudgmental serves as effective support for others.