Patience—ksanti in Sanskrit, khanti in Pali—is one of the six transcendent perfections, or paramitas, which are skillful practices of awakening. Patience arises when someone feels they are being harmed, irritated, or wronged, yet they are able to meet difficulties in an open and spacious way. Staying aware of an irritating experience is challenging, but it can bring wisdom. With patience, one can better see how others suffer and may be acting out of confusion. In Buddhism, patience is described in three forms: patience with those who cause us harm, patience with the challenges that arise in practice, and the deep patience that arises from seeing things as they truly are, without fear.

In addition to the first meaning of patience with others, which involves enduring hardships while maintaining compassion, patience has two other specific meanings in Buddhism. Ksanti also means demonstrating endurance on the path to Buddhahood—staying focused despite the experience of suffering—and receptivity to the ultimate truths of reality, such as impermanence, emptiness, and non-self, which are realized through meditation. In a sense, all three forms of patience are about staying open and not shutting down when overwhelmed.

Atisha invited a rude, obnoxious servant to travel with him throughout Tibet. When the Tibetans asked him why, he replied: “Without this man, there would be no one with whom I could practice patience. He is very kind to me. I need him!”

With patience, we can choose how to respond, rather than impulsively reacting with a surge of emotion. Patience can protect us from the negative consequences of acting with aggression.

Reflect on an experience that required patience and how they reacted. Compare the results of being patient and not being patient on self and other.

• What kinds of situations challenge your practice of patience?

Analyze the three forms of Buddhist patience: enduring harm from others, persevering through practice difficulties, and accepting ultimate truths; evaluate personal triggers that challenge patience practice; and implement strategies for maintaining equanimity that transform irritation into opportunities for wisdom development.