Gain and loss are two of the eight worldly concerns. Whether we are playing a game or working to earn money, when we hope to gain something, we refer to what we are acquiring for ourselves: money, possessions, victories, or things we enjoy. When we fear loss, we want to avoid losing what we have, whether it’s money, possessions, friends, or status. Understanding that things come and go allows us to cultivate the equanimity of a calm and balanced mind in the face of various gains and losses.

Sports provide an easy context to understand how this works. A graceful winner is someone who acknowledges their opponent’s efforts and stays humble, while a sore loser is angry, blames others, or makes excuses. Losing is a part of any competitive endeavor, and winning and losing are two sides of the same coin. Striving for excellence and being the best we can be does not have to come at the expense of others. We can succeed without exploiting or dominating others. Humiliating others often indicates a lack of self-confidence.

The lojong slogan “don’t try to be the fastest” is a mind-training teaching from Atisha that reveals how competitive energy fixated on gain and winning relates to the speediness prevalent in modern culture. We can succeed without exploiting or dominating others. Humiliating others often indicates a lack of self-confidence.

Sometimes we win, and sometimes we lose. We cannot always control the outcome, so it’s better to ease our hope for a win and our fear of a loss, allowing us to enjoy the process.

Notice how prioritizing speed and efficiency affects daily life and how it feels in the body to rush or slow down. Reflect on the experience of being labeled a “winner” or “loser,” and consider what it would be like to take competition a little less seriously. Notice how prioritizing speed and efficiency affects daily life and how it feels in the body to rush or slow down.

• How do you react when you win and when you lose?
• How might you wish to respond to winning and losing?
• How might you become more aware?
• Do you ever feel special because you are faster than others?
• Do you ever feel inadequate when others pass you by or leave you behind?
• What would it be like to let go of the success-failure paradigm?

Implement a positive, playful approach to competition without attachment to outcomes; practice observing and releasing arising emotions without dwelling on them; and create expressions of goodwill toward opponents.