Equanimity (upeka/upeksha) refers to non-attachment, nondiscrimination, and even-mindedness, or the act of letting go. In Sanskrit, upe means “over” and ks means “to look,” signifying that you observe from a bird’s-eye view, free from bias on either side.

The practice of equanimity encompasses the cultivation of the other three of the four immeasurables or brahmaviharas—loving-kindness, compassion, and sympathetic joy.

We aspire to have equal regard for all beings and situations. Like a parent who equally loves each of their children, we aspire to care for all beings impartially, free from bias and any kind of prejudice.

Cultivating impartial regard for other beings, as well as towards all experiences, is a relative approach, with equanimity as the final stage. Alternatively, the Buddha also taught that our minds’ very nature is nothing other than loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. In this approach, one begins by cultivating a balanced mind, bringing it closer to its true nature, where the mind can recognize its own nature as indivisible from the four immeasurables.

We establish a balanced mind by wishing for all beings to abide in even, impartial equanimity, free from attachment and aversion.

Reflect on how the positive or negative experience of conflict with another person varies depending on the extent to which they judge and react habitually to this person, their words, or their actions.

• Have you noticed strong or subtle feelings of attraction or aversion when meeting a new person or entering a new situation?
• Can you imagine what it might feel like to let these ideas go, and aspire to offer everyone the same impartial positive attitude?

Analyze interpersonal conflicts as learning opportunities, and develop a habit of acceptance and goodwill rather than avoidance and animosity when relating to difficult people.