Known as maitri in Sanskrit and metta in Pali, loving-kindness is the first of the four immeasurables (also known as the four brahmaviharas) and serves as an antidote to ill will. In Sanskrit, maitri is related to the word mitra, which means friend. Within this context, the meaning of love in Buddhism could be interpreted as warmth, friendship, and the wish for others to be happy.

Meditation on kindness can begin with ourselves, as we generate basic gentleness and friendliness towards our own situation. We make the wish that we might enjoy contentment or happiness, generating an attitude similar to a loving parent or caregiver who only wishes for their child’s well-being. Gradually, we can extend this goodwill first to those we care about, then to those for whom we feel neutral, and finally to those we believe have harmed us or been unkind. Finally, we work towards being able to generate and rest in loving-kindness without object, filling space. Bit by bit, we expand our loving-kindness to all beings, making it infinite, limitless, and immeasurable. This systematic approach helps practitioners develop genuine, unconditional loving-kindness rather than mere sentimentality.

All sentient beings are just like us, wishing to be happy and to have the causes of happiness. In buddhadharma, the word happiness refers to a state of well-being and contentment, rather than a fleeting emotional state. As we make the wish for others to be happy, we generate the mind of loving-kindness. Well-being and contentment have both outer and inner causes. The dharma teaches that the primary cause of happiness or contentment comes from the mind, and that is why more emphasis is placed on training the mind.

To practice maitri, you first need to understand what someone requires or would appreciate. Observe a friend you care about to determine what they may need and value.

• What's the difference between the experience of generating loving-kindness for those you feel close with, those you do not know, and those whom you find it hard to get along with?
• What are the causes of satisfaction and contentment according to the Buddha?
• What are the conventional causes of satisfaction and contentment?

Analyze the nature of metta/loving-kindness; improvise a guided meditation that generates this quality; and initiate kind actions based on understanding all beings’ desire for happiness.